Ok...I like a lot of your work but I'm going to be honest. Her makeup is really badly done, her eye liner is crooked and her lipstick is mega tacky (though I imagine some guys like that look.) In general less is more. While I'm not a fan of how you have cropped the image, what I DO like is the background and the focus but I think next time lose the white shirt, let her hair down and really sex it up.